No no no no. I didn’t mean that.
Repeating same words is a high sign
1. A person is not interested in a conversation.
2. He/she isn’t confident enough.
“I’m done with your shit brother. Please stop it right now”. Because the conversation is boring more than Kim Kardashian’s life.
On a busy noon, I sat in my chair. Opposite to me sits a project manager of my “X” company. Good folk, 5.6ft, fair and fit. Usually, you cannot find him at his desk, because of his job. His routine of the day would be like welcome clients, meetings, calls, casual talks, sales pitch, order foods, take clients outside for a walk, worst of all a tour around the city. I don’t have clue on the time he spends with his GF. But I’m sure this guy spends heck lot of time with his clients.
So, me the other person who sits opposite to the empty seat of the PM guy who supposed to sit in the same place. But for today I couldn’t find him. There is a bar table inside the office, where I heard a voice like.
Yeah, yeah, easy peasy.
No, no, no, I didn’t mean that.
You know what, wait, wait, wait, let me finish goddamn it.
Not a great conversation I would say. I’m not left with human nature to judge others in a fraction of second. Yes, I did. I felt like this is not how you speak.
I rolled the chair backward with help of my legs pushed the table leg. I head to the PM who is still repeating words over the call. By the time I reached, he was pointing the phone, talking shit, which has nothing to do with his anger.
I stopped by and leaned over the bar table.
Me: Why do you repeat words? It was surprising to hear from him.
PM: Do I repeat?
Me: Yes, often.
PM surprised to hear.
PM: Bruh this is sick. I shouldn’t do this. Not with a client man.
People won’t notice this tiny mistake. But the recipient might notice. A person indulged in a conversation will never repeat words. Why? Because he/she knows it is a shitty conversation or a good one to continue. How?
By Listening. Listen.
“My father will be the last one to speak. Who is the chief of the tribe.” - Nelson Mandela.
Break the ice.
Listen to a conversation.
Ask questions. People never mind about interrupting. They love to answer.
Dice and slice the information.
Ask whether it’s appropriate to answer?
Do I need more clarifications?
Is the information is right? Do I need more information?
Never argue or say the opposite is wrong, but debate.
Validate information. Repeat the sentence of opposite if needed.
or be calm.
This is not simple. Most of us react or express before someone finishes in 1:1 conversation or with many. Because of the thoughts gets scattered in different dimensions. We think, process, throw out end no.of information in a fraction of second.
Oh, this guy buys this.
I have to pay the loan.
Ask a question to my client?
They might be right. Why should I interrupt?
Will they feel bad?
No, Don’t ask questions. I’ll lose the job.
I can’t afford to lose the job because of asking a question.
Finally, while the mind listens to his own thoughts and voice. The conversation ends.
Feed the brain with the amount of information it requires. Focus your energy on one task. Let it flow. Keeping the moment active helps to complete, engage or escape from a conversation. When the above happens a person know the next word to talk. Try it out.
Out of all. Live in the moment. Listen.
Catch more of my writing @ Alankar Sudarsan. I Write on Design, Business, UX, Product Management and Movies.